Member-only story
Parking in Handicap Spots
just don’t
Attention all self-absorbed assholes, especially those who do not know they are self-absorbed assholes:
Unless you have a special duly authorized by the state license plate or a special hang tag, do not park in handicapped spots.
These are NOT legitimate reasons to park in a handicap spot without a permit:
*you’re just going to run in for a six-pack
* it’s 3 in the morning
* you have a bad cold
* you’re not going to be there more than two minutes
* you’re really in a hurry
* it’s raining
* it’s hot
* you sprained your ankle playing tennis
* you’re hung over and it’s closer
* you have 18 very bad illnesses but you don’t want to “bother” your . doctor about a hang tag
* there is no one else in the parking lot
* your religion doesn’t believe in traffic or parking laws
* you hate Donald Trump
* you love Donald Trump
* your third cousin fourth removed who works for the state said it was okay
* you’re still in your pajamas
* you’re white
* you’re black
* you are some other color
* you pay taxes
* it’s not “hurting” anyone
* you believe it’s your right
* you’re just a self-absorbed asshole
