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Ten Tough Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Getting a Parrot
but none of them will help
Since my last column, I’ve been flooded with pertinent questions concerning parrot care and behavior. Here, dear readers, are my impertinent answers:
Q: I’m thinking of getting a parrot. What species is right for me?
A: Excellent question. It depends on what you’re looking for in a companion parrot. Do you want one that talks? Can you afford to care for a bird? Do you have mental health insurance? Read on!
Q: Will my bird talk?
A: Your bird most assuredly will be capable of talking. But your bird, individually, will not talk.
Q: I’ve heard that parrots are messy. Is that true?
A: This is a very common myth. In fact, parrots are fastidious by nature. For example, give your bird a piece of paper and it will immediately shred it into dozens of tiny pieces that can be stored in the smallest storage space possible. Parrots are the envy of professional organizers everywhere. Parrots also keep themselves impeccably groomed. They spend hours each day removing every particle of dust, dander and loose feather from their bodies. These they distribute over their surroundings in a fine layer of DNA that protects the furniture from scratches.
